Coddling Your Gen Z Employees Is a Lose-Lose Situation

Here’s how to help your Gen Z employees cope with failure. (Written for Psychology Today)

Photo by John Schnobrich on Unsplash

“Gen Zers are too sensitive.”

“Gen Zers can’t take feedback.”

“Gen Zers need to be coddled.”

These thoughts may have crossed your mind as an employer or manager of Gen Z workers.

As a Gen Zer myself, I understand why you might think this. I’ve grown up watching my peers’ parents help them avoid failure and discomfort at all costs.

A recent study revealed that 25 percent of Gen Zers have brought their parents to a job interview, and another 25 percent had a parent submit their job application for them.

But just because we may have been coddled in the past doesn’t mean it’s what’s best for us. We need to fail. Part of your role as a manager is to help us navigate inevitable setbacks.

So how can you, as a manager of Gen Zers, find the balance between coddling and telling them to “rub some dirt in it” or “walk it off”?

Let’s consider these do’s and don’ts:

1. Do let them be upset (briefly) and then offer feedback.

When a Gen Z employee faces a setback or failure, allow them to express their emotions. Let them be upset, and don’t rush them to move on or suppress their feelings.

Only once the initial spike in emotion subsides should you provide feedback. Trying to offer immediate feedback isn’t just unhelpful but counterproductive. Psychological studies have found that high emotional arousal can severely hinder cognitive processing associated with receiving feedback.

While it’s important to let your Gen Z employee express their emotions, it’s equally crucial to put a time cap on it. Encourage them to acknowledge their feelings, but also guide them toward moving forward.

2. Don’t promise they won’t make that mistake again.

Avoid saying things like:

“You’ve learned your lesson.”

“You won’t make the same mistake twice.”

“This will be a one-time occurrence.”

“You’re not going to let it happen again.”

Promising your Gen Z employees that they won’t make the same mistake again can be problematic for several reasons:

• Unrealistic Expectations: These promises set an unreasonable expectation of faultlessness, leading to disappointment.

• Creating Pressure: Assuring them they won’t make another mistake can create pressure that hinders their learning and growth.

• Overconfidence: Believing they won’t make the same mistake may lead to overconfidence, causing them to overlook precautions.

• Straining Relationships: If they do make the same mistake, they may feel they’ve let you down, damaging trust and communication.

3. Do encourage conversation and self-reflection with clean questions.

Clean questions are non-leading and non-judgmental questions that encourage open dialogue. When discussing the failure, use questions that facilitate reflection and understanding and promote self-awareness instead of blame.

Here are three clean questions compared to their dirty counterparts:

1. “What factors do you think contributed to this outcome?”

Dirty Equivalent: “Why did you make this mistake?”

2. “What did you learn from this experience?”

Dirty Equivalent: “You won’t make this mistake again, right?”

3. “How do you envision overcoming this challenge?”

Dirty Equivalent: “Do you even have a plan?”

Ask about what happened, what they learned, and what they think about the next steps in a non-judgmental or accusatory way.

4. Don’t tell them they don’t have to do that task again.

You might be tempted to give the task that your Gen Z employee has failed at to someone else. After all, you want it to be done right (and probably quickly). But when you tell them they don’t have to do that task again, you are coddling them. This may encourage the following negative consequences:

• Missed Learning Opportunities: Avoiding the task means they don’t learn what went well, what went wrong, and what to do differently next time.

• Encouraging Avoidance Behavior: This may create a habit of avoiding challenges and expecting others to step in.

• Preventing Skill Development: Avoiding tasks can prevent someone from developing problem-solving skills, which are essential for future challenges.

• Lowering Self-Confidence: Avoiding tasks due to past failures can lead to a belief that they aren’t good enough and can’t do hard things.

Instead, try saying:

“You have my support.”

“It’s alright to feel disappointed, stressed, etc.”

“This is hard.”

“Thanks for trusting me with this information.”

Navigating the challenges of managing Gen Z employees requires a nuanced approach. Coddling may seem like a way to protect them, but it often leads to dependency and a lack of resilience. It’s important to allow your Gen Z employees to fail and get back up. Give them space to self-reflect and express themselves within clear boundaries, which will help you maintain your boundaries, too.

Link to the original article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/mind-the-generation-gap/202409/coddling-your-gen-z-employees-is-a-lose-lose-situation

As always, feel free to ask me anything. Substack now has direct messaging and I read and respond to everyone. Or, if you have a question you think others might benefit from….

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Sophie Riegel is a professional speaker, author, certified coach, and mental health advocate.